#142 Owning Who You are Now, and Not Who You Were

In Marta on the Move by MartaLeave a Comment

I was pretty scared to write this, it started as an simple Instagram or Facebook post, but then when I finally started writing it, it became long. I figured it may be better as a blog post instead, so here I am.

I wanted to reintroduce myself. I feel everyone is going through a transition right now with the state of the world, and honestly, that isn’t a bad thing it just means more time to be introspective.

This year has been stressful and moment to moment we all question certain decisions we have made. I have been looking back on my life and for the first time, I am at a point where I see no mistakes. None! How could any of my decisions have been mistakes, they made me who I am today. This is an easy thing to acknowledge to yourself, but to really digest it prove difficult.

Looking back, there was a choice in my life that I saw my shift. The girl that got on a plane alone, scared to death to fly overseas in 2004 to work on tomb excavation in Italy. That was the moment I started weaving who I wanted to be.

Man, I thank that girl almost every day. A broken heart lead to that decision and it was the best ones I had ever made. Although I didn’t know it then. It fueled my confidence and ignited my travel bug to explore the world with purpose.

I have done some pretty cool travels like diving to search for the treasure from the wreck of the Atocha, but my passion became trying to help and make a difference or learn something culturally when I traveled. I started and never stopped my traveling solo for volunteer projects around the world.

Restoring a 10th century castle in France, living on a boat to study whale and dolphin migration in Ischia. In Portugal I helped the impoverish by working on homes and learned the art of plastering, I scuba dove in frigid temperatures to clean reefs in the Atlantic, most recently my travels took me to work on a sea turtle conservation in Costa Rica.

All of these experiences lead me to create Marta on the Move. I needed an outlet for my curiousity when I was back in my hometown of Pittsburgh and not traveling. But in addition to just focusing on traveling, it became something else- a vehicle for my curiosity. I just didn’t see it.

My show topics ranged greatly, and for years I struggled with justifying my shifting topics on my show, and then recently it clicked that the backbone of the show pushes people to “be curious and cut the cord of comfort”

This quote is one of the subjects I live by and give motivational speeches on, so why was I suddenly feeling judged. 

The funny thing was that I was the one doing the judging. It was all in my own head. I mean, the title of my show is Marta on the Move… it would stand to reason that the topics would vary and change based on what I found interesting. One of our best human best gifts is our love of curiosity!

This was something I had to embrace fully in myself and my show. The ability to shift as you change through life and not take myself so seriously. I have never been one to care what other’s think, why was I having these feelings now. 

It brings me to this year, and this moment. I felt…. different. More confident and awakened then I had ever been. Truthfully, that took a mini breakdown on my part. As that song says there is “Beauty in the breakdown”, and it is completely true. It causes a shift, and you are forced to rebuild and become stronger. Sometimes this means leaving the past behind to become who you are NOW. This was how I felt and I wanted to see that manifested somehow.

I had made a choice to get some photography work done, some shots that were boudoir style (you are so very welcome, Phil), some extravagant and over the top like the picture below. Mainly I wanted nudes. They were my favorite. I needed to shed a skin I was living in, and it felt SO GOOD. I didn’t feel exposed, I have always felt comfortable in my own skin. I felt empowered. I had to document this moment in my life, and I wanted these pictures for myself. I am so happy with them 🙂

Check out my favorite turn of the century top hat! I look like I am going to introduce the strangest game show ever created, and I LOVE IT.

I got my photos back and loved them (Thank you Elizabeth Craig Photography!). As I sat staring at all of them, and I had to think to myself- “Well well well Marta, who are you now?”

I know am still that curious adventure seeking, treasure hunting, game night planning, solo traveler advocate and slightly off kilter human. I love these things about me. 

But I am also someone who is shifting more into self care. I have been shifting for quite a while, it just finally opened up the flood gates inside of me and everything is beginning to click into place. It is scary and exciting at the same damn time.

A little back story-

All my life I have been a yo yo dieter. My weight fluctuated all the time. I was never a sports or workout person. I was heavy for quite some time but it wasn’t until I hit over 200lbs that I knew that I was unhealthy. All the craft beers Phil and I were brewing and late night cheese plates caught up to me. 🏻

I never saw myself as overweight or anything but just me. All my life I just wanted to be comfortable with whatever clothing I put on. (Clothing is overrated, my new pictures prove this 🙂 I just reached a point where I knew it was unhealthy for my body and needed a change. 

I tried every diet until I found one that worked for me, and then it morphed into a lifestyle balance. I still needed to find physical exercise. Believe me, I didn’t want to.

I found power yoga and really loved the equal parts of strength and meditation. I threw myself into it at least five day week.

Last year I got into a car accident that left me in pain. I was just starting my yoga teacher training. It was a hit to my ego for sure. I suddenly couldn’t do the moves I wanted. The coveted headstand, handstand. All the inversions. Gone.

I was now in pain simply while walking, and I had to watch my other piers doing the things I could no longer do. It smarted. It really did, but I began to turn inward more and that was a huge step for me. I also had to rethink the way I moved my body.

Thanks to my long time BFF over at MÜV Integrated Physical Culture, I began to learn the physics of my body, how it moves, and how to age with strength and mobility. I even did their training with cadavers in the hospital touching the bodies to learn the mechanics of muscle, tendons and bone structure. Believe me, this was something I never ever wanted to do in my life up until this point, but when you feel real pain, you start to wake up. You don’t want it to happen again and will do anything to stop or prevent it.

This was where I began going down the fitness rabbit hole, and not just any fitness, the kind that can be sustained through our aging process as humans. But with the body comes the mind, and I realized years ago after my very first car accident that I needed to calm mine down.

Phil and I studied Transcendental Meditation over 7 years ago, and I didn’t know it then but that training prepared my mind after this last car accident. It was now helping tremendously since I was moving a lot less than normal. I believe so much in the power of meditation that this year I started posting free meditations in a time of crap over @martamazzonipgh on Instagram.

I never dreamed I would be teaching publicly and privately meditation and strength building yoga, but the need to help others who might be suffering from pain or anxiety was too great. It also kept me accountable for my own personal practice.

You know what they say, “practice what you preach” this is too true, and self care is something I want to practice my entire life and share with people to in the hopes to inspire and help them as well become the best versions of themselves.

You will see more of this self care on Marta on the Move. I’m finally not apologizing for any of it, because it clicked that it is my vehicle to discover more about myself on this crazy ride of life. I always knew that in the back of my mind, but I have now adsorbed and digested it. 

I love my show and where it has lead. It has prompted me to finally start work on writing three books, begin creating a wellness program, open inspirational Airbnb’s, teach, interview celebrities, host my own yoga retreats domestic and abroad (2021 sailing yoga retreat, baby!), and connect people culturally throughout the world. Much more than all of that, it has been an outlet for me, a personal form of therapy. 

So looking at who I am right now is exactly who I want to be, and all my past decisions have lead me to where I am today. Marta 2.0. LOL

This life, this show, it has been a RIDE. I want to thank each and every one of you who has and continues to support me throughout my journey. Grammatical errors and all.

This might be my favorite of over 100 pictures taken.

We have no idea where the future might take us, and that is EXCITING. Own your mistakes for they made you who you are today. After this long ass post I just want to say again on behalf of Marta on the Move’s ever shifting podcast- “Keep it moving” also “Be curious and cut the cord of comfort.” you never know where that will take you. I personally can’t wait to see where it leads.

Love to all and most importantly, love yourselves,

~M

Check out this episode!